Smart Business Magazine, November 2014

20 Smart Business Cleveland November 2014 Suffering from low emotional intelligence Here are four effective ways to boost your EQ Here are some symptoms You know youre brilliant yet you find yourself reacting with impatience and anger when others just dont get it Maybe your feedback to a teammate failed to come across the way you had intended If as a leader at work at home or in your community you have any of these symptoms youre possibly suffering from low EQ The key to good EQ is to be aware of your emotions and the emotions of those around you Until we become accountable for our own emotions we cant manage them Likewise an awareness of others emotions helps us manage our response to facilitate the most effective interaction Here are four steps to help boost your EQ Recognize your own emotions Youre in a meeting and Bob says something that you know is absolutely wrong You want to publicly call him out and correct his error but youve been down that road in the past Fortunately you coach yourself to hold back your response Manage your emotions You remind yourself that Bob is a bright guy To show him respect you could say something like Gee Bob I had not thought of it like that before Can you explain the logic of how that would work Your tone of voice and body language are critical because they reveal your true emotions Bob explains and you see that hes just operating from a different perspective In any case youve managed your emotions and maintained your decorum signs of good EQ Recognize the emotions of others You run into a peer Jen who seems a bit down and overwhelmed Youre depending on her to deliver the data you need for your projects next step and the deadline is tomorrow Your immediate fear is that its not going to happen Now that youve been working to raise your EQ it doesnt take an EQ genius to realize that putting a guilt trip on her is probably not a good idea so you give her support Respond appropriately effectively to the emotions of others Because youre not fear motivated you focus on encouraging Jen You choose to show her some empathy and encouragement telling her that you understand things are difficult and asking if you and your team can help You remind her that she is a great teammate valuable in your companys culture and that you have confidence in her Having good EQ may sound somewhat soft but its actually powerful because its about being the most effective leader possible It begins with awareness we cant manage what we dont recognize and then its about managing our own emotions and our response to others In the simplest terms its about reading the situation and then acting in the most effective manner It does get easier with practice and it makes you the kind of leader others want to follow Try it and see for yourself The commercials on television today highlight treatments for low this and that but unfortunately we dont hear much about low emotional intelligence EQ LEE ELLIS President Leadership Freedom LLC a leadership and team development consulting company Lee consults with Fortune 500 senior executives in the areas of hiring team building leadership and human performance development and succession planning His latest book about his Vietnam prisoner of war experience is entitled Leading with Honor Leadership Lessons from the Hanoi Hilton www leadingwithhonor com LINK UP with Lee Ellis on LinkedIn www linkedin com in leonleeellis LEE ELLIS LEADING WITH HONOR