Smart Business Magazine, November 2019

16 Smart Business Cleveland November 2019 Are you a lonely leader Dont let it compromise your health or effectiveness Loneliness is defined by Wikipedia as the unpleasant experience that occurs when a persons network of social relations is deficient in some important way An RHR International 2012 CEO Snapshot Survey found that the intensity of the CEOs job coupled with the scarcity of peers to confide in creates potentially dangerous feelings of isolation among chief executives Fifty percent of all CEOs report experiencing loneliness in the role So what causes a leader to feel lonely CEOs surveyed explain it this way I carry a burden that no one else understands None of my family or friends are CEOs I dont have anyone to talk to I must appear confident so I hide my vulnerability The more I do the lonelier I am I make significant strategic decisions that employees may not understand even when I share my rationale Loneliness has consequences University of Houston Research Professor and New York Times best selling author Brené Brown says A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people We are biologically cognitively physically and spiritually wired to love to be loved and to belong When those needs are not met we dont function as we were meant to We break We fall apart We numb We ache We hurt others We get sick Executive loneliness and isolation are not only harmful to a leaders well being but these emotions can damage the business RHR found that 61 percent of CEOs surveyed believe that the isolation hinders their job performance Research found an association between loneliness exhaustion stress depression dementia cardiovascular disease sleep deprivation depressed immunity and strokes Alcoholics Anonymous believes that loneliness can trigger a relapse How to manage loneliness Loneliness can cause us to feel empty and unwanted It triggers withdrawal and isolation To counteract its impact here a few steps that you can take Join a peer group like Vistage It provides a safe place to discuss your most vulnerable issues both business and personal One of my Vistage members says My trusted peers give me feedback that virtually no one else can or will provide I gain new perspectives and receive insights into my blind spots As much as possible involve employees in problem solving For example one of my members established a system of problem solving and shared understanding He meets weekly with a cross functional team to discuss companywide issues resources priorities and three year plans Be appropriately vulnerable and share what you can Ask for feedback Develop a personal network with other leaders in similar roles It can be lonely at the top Instead of letting it compromise your health and effectiveness take the steps you need to to overcome it It may sound counterintuitive to imply that leaders are lonely because they spend most of their workdays meeting and interacting with people Even so loneliness affects many leaders LEADERSHIP PROCUREMENT CHERYL B McMILLAN CHERYL B McMILLAN Chair Northeast Ohio Vistage International is a leading international organization for CEOs presidents business owners and senior executives Cheryl also leads local peer advisory boards composed of CEOs and senior executives from noncompeting companies www cherylmcmillan com